


looking at them makes me wonder if I belong here, looking at you makes me see I'm where I belong

by lilykage



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Acephobia, Alternate Universe - High School, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Coming Out, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29092464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilykage/pseuds/lilykage
Summary: Leorio and Kurapika are ace high school boys. That's the fic.petition to increase the amount of asexual representation in media.
Relationships: Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	looking at them makes me wonder if I belong here, looking at you makes me see I'm where I belong

**Author's Note:**

> I've seen a lot of people headcanoning Kurapika is an asexual, and Leopika could be an ace relationship, but I couldn't find any fics about it so here we are

They’re sitting on the low stone wall that surrounds the schoolyard. Kurapika has a box of vanilla milk in his hands, his favorite drink in the whole world. Which is hard to find in local shops, so Leorio goes to the supermarket down the street everyday to grab one for him. He goes to Kurapika’s class the last break time of the day and gives it to him, Kurapika takes the box and says he doesn’t have to go that far just to get vanilla milk for him everyday. Leorio shrugs and says he went there for something else and bought it on his way back, Kurapika knows he’s lying, but he accepts the offer with a smile and a shy thank you, then they go outside and spend the break together; and that’s reason enough for Leorio. For he can go to a shop ten miles away just to see Kurapika’s smile.

They spend the fifteen minutes long break time just sitting on that wall and watching the people in the yard. Kurapika drinks his vanilla milk, Leorio drinks a can of coke he got from the vending machine, they talk about casual things, laugh at silly jokes that are not really funny, chat about things that are not really interesting; and for that fifteen minutes Leorio spends with Kurapika, he thinks that _maybe life is okay._ Things seem brighter when he’s around Kurapika. Just watching him slurping his drink through a straw, smiling at his favorite taste and watching people with big, curious gray eyes makes Leorio think that _happiness must be this._ He can’t help but smile around this boy, he just feels happy, almost too happy that he fears it’s too good to be true, when he’s watching Kurapika simply being himself. Somedays the blonde tells him about the book he’s reading, his eyes shine ever so brightly when he’s talking about something he likes. He smiles and laughs and spreads his arms in excitement and Leorio just wishes these moments never end. He wishes the bell never rings, the day never ends, just so he can spend more time around him. 

This time it’s a sunny day, the sky is clear and a nice warm breeze is blowing through their clothes. First-years are playing football a few meters away, there’s noises, faint voices of people talking but they all sound far away. Everything seems far away when they’re together. The breeze plays with Kurapika’s golden hair, he tries to tidy it with his empty hand but terribly fails and Leorio laughs, Kurapika joins him in his laugh after a few seconds of frowning.

A few minutes pass by chatting and laughing, and then they seem to be out of topics to talk about. Just when Leorio is about to offer going back to class, Kurapika turns to him like he remembered something. 

“Hey, uh…” he starts, then averts his gaze to the floor, and clears his throat as he’s watching his feet. “How is it going with that girl?” he finally asks, taking another sip from his drink. 

“Huh? Ah, she broke up with me.” Leorio says with a sheepish smile. Kurapika must be talking about Leroute, a girl from Leorio’s class. They started dating two weeks ago, and it’s been five days or so since she came to him after school and said she wanted to break up; for the same reasons as all his exes left him before. He couldn’t even bring himself to feel sad about it, in fact he was relieved. 

Kurapika turns to him, his gaze holds nothing but curiosity. “Why?"

“My fault, probably.” Leorio says, avoiding eye contact, “I guess it just wasn’t my thing to date girls.”

The blonde slightly frowns, “Hm? What’s wrong with girls? I thought you were bi.” he asks, looking up at him with a blank face. 

Leorio chuckles, “Biromantic, yeah.” 

Kurapika looks confused. Not that he can’t understand what Leorio meant, more like a confusion that comes from not having ever been considered that idea.

“Leorio… Are you telling me you’re asexual?”

Leorio gulps nervously, it’s the first time he’s telling about this to anyone, actually it’s the first time he’s saying it out loud. He’s been too unsure to even label himself before, but now, it feels right to accept it. To accept himself.

He smiles and looks at his hands which he’s playing with his sweater’s zipper with, zipping it up and down like he always does when he’s anxious, Kurapika knows that much. He takes a deep breath and finally says, “…Yeah.” 

“Oh.” Kurapika looks at him, but can’t meet his eyes since the older’s averting his gaze. “Really?”

Leorio nods. He wants to look at the blonde to see his reaction, but he can’t. He feels his cheeks hot. 

Kurapika takes a few seconds before speaking again. “You never told me...” he says, his voice almost sounds offended. 

“I guess.”

“You didn’t think I’d judge you or anything, right?”

“No, not really.” Leorio rubs the back of his neck, _another habit that signs he’s nervous,_ Kurapika remembers. “It was just hard to admit it for myself. I didn’t doubt you.” 

A small smile forms in the blonde’s lips, “I see. Well, it would be ridiculous if you did, since we’re on the same boat.” he says, taking the straw of his drink in his mouth and slurping the last few drops left. 

Leorio suddenly turns to him with wide eyes, “What? Y-you’re ace too? “

Kurapika smiles wider, he hums and nods in confirmation, and throws his now-empty milk box into the trash can. 

“You never told me either!” Leorio exclaims. Why didn’t he tell him? They were friends, weren’t they? Best friends?

“It’s not like I’m hiding it, Leorio. You just never asked.”

“Still! You should have told me! Then I would be more confident to come out to you.”

Kurapika’s face softens, “I’m glad you did, Leorio.”

Leorio pouts. But he can’t stay angry at him for long, “…me too.” he sighs. 

They sit in silent for a minute or even shorter, which feels like a decade for Leorio. He didn’t expect this to go this smoothly, he doesn’t know what exactly he expected but he doesn’t want this conversation to end just here. So he blurts what he’s been meaning to ask, “Aren’t you surprised, though?” 

Kurapika inhales to take a moment before answering, “I am, honestly.” he finally admits. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, but you dated _half of the school,_ Leorio. I always thought what you’re looking for was… physical.”

Leorio scoffs, “Well, I guess I always thought the same.” he says in a sigh, he tucks his hands in his pockets as he turns to the blonde, “I was… trying, you know?” His eyes are hopeful, almost eager for understanding. 

“To fit in?” Kurapika asks. He knows how confusing life can be for a closeted asexual. Especially since you hear people talking about sex like it’s the most important thing in the world. Or that lacking the desire for it can be considered as a sickness, that it’s against human nature, or all the other stupid things people say to attack aces who don’t do any harm to them. Kurapika never understood what the fuss is for. It’s like forcing everyone to read a book because you enjoy it. It’s pointless, ridiculous even, but it makes you reconsider your worth nevertheless. It makes you force yourself to try being like everyone else. As if you can. 

“Yeah.” Leorio says with a nod. “I thought I could… fix myself.” he admits. 

Kurapika looks at him in the eye, his gray eyes wide and determined, “We’re not to be fixed, Leorio. We’re not any less valid than the others.”

“I know,” Leorio says with a smile, “I know it now.” And without a second thought, he pulls the blonde into a hug. Kurapika’s taken aback by the sudden hug, but he still wraps his arms around Leorio’s waist as he hears him say, “Thanks, Pika.”

Kurapika smiles while his face is buried in the older’s chest, he hugs him more tightly as an answer. Leorio releases a shaky breath through his blonde hair. His heart feels lighter; it’s like he’s been strangled by invisible hands all this time, and they’re gone now. It’s like discovering a new form of breathing, one that doesn’t hurt. 

He thinks that _maybe, life is okay._

_Maybe, this is where he belongs._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still getting used to writing in English,, sorry if I had any mistakes. Comments will be more than appreciated. Thanks for reading! 💜✨  
>   
> Talk to me on my [tumblr](https://whywoulditho.tumblr.com)! I'm always open for asks and requests!


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